Anonymous ID: b3f13f March 26, 2024, 10:12 p.m. No.20634331   🗄️.is 🔗kun

>>20634228

picrel, made me think of Harlbo sugar free gummies and this review.

 

Fully Weaponized Gummy Bears

I bought a bag because I'm trying to cut down on sugar. It seems Haribo has replaced the sucrose in a typical batch of Gummy Bears with colon-shredding rage. Just a couple of handfuls left me crying for my mommy on the bathroom floor (I am 43 years old).

The cute little tricksters look just like their benign counterparts, with the same cuddly ears, stubby arms and not-too-squishy, not-too-firm texture. The taste is the same too, and that's how the little demons invade your innards. I ate a dozen or so and then went about my day, oblivious to the angry, brown fire hose that they were constructing in my colon.

The cramping started about an hour later, and soon enough I was as bloated as a balloon in Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. When the rumbling started I sprinted down the hallway and made it to the bathroom just in time for the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse to stampede from my backside, laying waste to my home's septic system AND my will to live. After three hours of pelvis-shaking misery, I was spongy, weak, and amazed that I had any bones left. I cursed Haribo with the little strength I could muster.

Avoid these bears at all cost.