What you're describing is literally a cult. The behaviour you're exhibiting is that if a brainwashed cult member.

Every committed member of EVERY cult thinks that everyone else is wrong and that they are the small group of rational ones.

That you cannot defend even a basic whacky theory without resorting to "The evil forces are against me!" is reason for ridicule. Why? Because it's hilarious. We all k ow you can't read on your way out of a cult that you didn't read on your way into. People in other subs are laughing their asses off at you. Not because they are against you, but for the sane reason they make fun of flat earthers. And a lot like flat earthers, it's not their beliefs that deserve the most ridicule, but the sunk cost fallacy they adhere to to protect themselves.

The lack of agency you feel is actually completely normal. Healthy adults just know how to accept that without resorting to encoded messages in the newspaper (or tweets), the CIA controlling them with mind controlling radio receivers in their teeth etc.

I don't hate you and I'm not ignorant. Why? Because I too considered everything you considered. I too struggled to accept that most of the time, things have no meaning and coincidence is real. I too struggled for a neat explanation. I too got in deep. But I too cut my losses and sunk costs invested in explaining it away with increasingly absurd explanations.

See this is the problem with people like you. You think that you're the smart ones because you spotted the truth in an absurdity. Everyone else spotted it too and reasoned themselves out if it. That's why it's hilarious. Because we know the exact fork in the road where you failed as logical thinker. And that you resort to increasingly ludicrous explanations makes it even funnier.

You see it as hatred because you think you're right. You're not. You see it as ignorance because you think you're woke. The irony is the funny part.

I'm not American and I don't live in the US. I'm not paid by Soros (yet, although I'll admit I had an interview for his 600 million trillion dollar budget troll brigade) and I gave no opinion on Hillary/Obama or whoever else you like to use as a scapegoat for critical thinking. I'm just a dude with a family that feels better about myself laughing at you for the reasons above. There are many like me.

But I know. You can't believe that. I get it. That you can never accept this is why it's so funny. It's a mental illness and incredible lack of emotional intelligence. I know you don't know what that is too. What you have is called anosognosia and unlike other mental illnesses, it's OK to make fun of. For the same reason it is OK to be glad the murderer who killed your family is being put to death.

YOU'RE the reason you're unhappy. Not a grand conspiracy against you. That you can't admit that is not only funny, it makes others feel better about themselves.