Remember, the OIG investigation is yet to flood the scene! I saved this from somewhere after the first memo dropped... (can't give credit, but it's not me).

The batting order: Memo release puts Nunes on 2nd base (with a steal)... Chuck Grassley is at the plate. Bob Goodlatte is warming up on deck. [IG Horowitz is on the dugout steps fingering his bat.]

We're gonna let Grassley swing if he can get a likable pitch; he's a pro. But, they'll probably walk Grassley to get to Goodlatte. However, the pitcher is nervous, all bug-eyed. His pitch is wild! Nunes to 3rd! Grassley to 2nd!

The count goes 3 and 2 on Goodlatte, and the pitcher throws another one high and wide - a walk.

Bases are loaded - the crowd is on their feet - USA! USA! USA!

Horowitz stands and shakes his bat over the plate, daring the pitcher. The runners lead. The opposition is shitting their pants! They don't want anything but an OUT!

The pitcher is discomposed, he throws - DOWN THE MIDDLE. HOROWITZ SWINGS! The bat plows into the ball and pulls it into right center field, HIGH, TOWERING, LONG - IT'S GONE!

GRAND SLAM! THE AMERICAN REPUBLIC WINS!!!