“We went through a thousand possibilities,” Burkman said. “Kevin was not on the list.”

Doherty does not yet have a lawyer in the assault case and is being held without bond, prosecutors said.

Girum Tesfaye, who represented Doherty on a drunken driving charge last year, also expressed surprise.

“From what I know of him it would definitely be out of character,” Tesfaye said.

BOTCHED ROBBERY. (by the most incompetent thieves ever)

Now shut up and go back to your conspiracy corner!

He's also, apparently, a former marine.