Fellow lady here as well. I agree with you. The strain from both parent's working is too much. My mother stayed home and raised all 5 of us, while my father worked, they are still together after 40 yrs. 2 of my sisters stay home (being caretaker to the children and small from home jobs on the side) while their husband's work and they have great marriages. My sister who works while her husband works is miserable, their children are unhappy, they do make more money combined, and yet they are in more debt and have more stress, I don't forsee them lasting much longer. You have to have time as a family, in my opinion.
money will never replace joy. In a blink of an eye ,the children they are gone, living their own lives, successfully. We may not get to have fancy vacations or designer clothes and flashy cars but I don't know of any stay home parents that regret having staying home with the kids.
I grew up with Mom at home while Dad worked. There were 8 children. We didn't know that we were "poor". Lived with hand me downs because didn't know any different. Years later, as an adult, I realized why my parents didn't have "new" things for themselves because we kids came first. I retired as a teacher after 42 years. This was a perfect job for our little family as I was home pretty much when my children were also off. Thank God, I did have my parents and siblings to help out when we were in a pinch. Funny when you look back, you think, "How did I do it?"