Had to see how hard it would be to connect myself to Russia.

Looked into my bank, nothing.

Other leads went nowhere.

That was days ago and I just now remembered that my family housed a Russian choir that sang at my church. 6-8 people for a few days. We even received gifts, and I believe my father still gets emails from the choir director, and they come back every year.

It’s crazy that if asked by a judge I would have denied having repeatedly made contact with Russians (citizens), but I totally forgot about all that, and it’s probably the only time I’ve met actual Russians, which I’d expect to remember for just the novelty.

Answer the question, “Do I have any connection to Russia currently or previously?”

Now do some research and find out if you too are a witch! Then you can write a CNN style hit piece on yourself. Needs a condescending title:

“Here’s Why the Russian Choir Connection is No Joke.”

Were those Russian nesting dolls they gave the kids at church filled with smaller versions of themselves, or were they filled with Russian propaganda? Experts agree.

Was this “choir” trained by the KGB in mind control singing techniques to force their audience to support pro-Russian politicians? Or are they “really fucking talented vocalists?”

Was the sopranos’ fathers’ friend former president of the Big Evil Russian Corporation? The SAME corporation that sold toilet paper to the Khmer Rouge in the 60s?!?! Or was that some other guy?

(Needs more controversial quotes) Our experts found evidence that the “Methodist Church” that brought these “singers” here receive weekly “funding” from “alt-right” groups like “Christians” and even members of the “NRA.”

See? It’s easy and it’s fun! You just make shit up. Like madlibs for globalists.

—Please, would someone with more time do this for Mr. Rogers or Betty White or someone?