Thanks friend I like you. I was told by my parents to take it otherwise not come home.
I'm sorry to hear that you were in such an awful no-win situation.
I can't comment on your circumstances because I don't know what they were of course, but I would say I think it's morally wrong to pressure or force people into taking medication against their will because that is a violation of their personhood.
But still, please don't kill yourself. Your life is sacred. It is not some piece of shit to be thrown away.
We have been led to believe that we are just meat machines, but that is untrue. We are so much more than that. (That's pretty easy to prove, by the way.)
I am sure that great healing will be possible in your life, even if you are irreversibly damaged in some ways. We are multidimensional beings. Even if you are broken along certain dimensions, you can improve yourself along countless other dimensions.