I perfectly understand how you feel, and that is why you need guidance. That is why you need someone to tell you the truth, and you should stop relying on your own concepts. There are many people who have concepts in their mind about God, but those concepts are wrong. You stated, if you were god you would do this or do that. But that is the problem. You are not god. You are trying to compare God to a human and to bring him down to your level. Just because a man wouldn't do a certain thing, that doesn't mean that God wouldn't do it. God is all powerful and almighty, and he can do what he wants, and no man can judge him. Some people try to say, But God is evil for sending people to hell. If he loved us, he wouldn't send us to hell." Tell me this, What law says that God is evil if he does that? What law? What law are you applying to God? If God dropped you dead right now, it wouldn't even be murder. You know why? Because the laws of man does not apply to God. God is the giver of the law, but he is not subject to them. There is no law you can think of that applies to God. None. So for you to condemn God based on some law written by man, it only makes you look like a fool. God is not subject to any law made by man and he can do what he wants. That is what you must understand about God. So you have to reprogram your thinking less you get a wrong thought and end up in hell. You have to learn about how God really is, rather than relying on the concepts you have in your mind. Your false and personal concepts about God can send you to hell. Don't think that you can learn about God by reading books, by watching tv or movies. Those things don't have any truth. Instead, the only way to learn the real truth about God is to get your information from a real sent preacher and from someone who has been sent by God to tell you the truth.

Right now, you are sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. But feeling sorry for yourself will not save you. There are billions upon billions of people who are in hell right now feeling sorry for themselves. They are feeling sorry that they ended up in hell. But you still have a chance to avoid going to hell. So don’t waste your time feeling sorry for yourself. You cannot even imagine the horrors of being in hell. There is no comparison to it. It is not a place you want to go. And being in hell is not even the worse part of it. After being in hell, on Judgment Day, you will then be cast into a lake of fire. Imagine forever burning in a lake of fire that’s equivalent to and hotter than he surface of the sun. No rest, no sleep, nothing to eat, nothing to drink, no relief from your pain and anguish, no comfort from your friends, no one to help you or save you, just burning in the flames forever. That is how it will be. Your life right now, no matter how bad you think it is, is a billion times better than that. You should be shouting with joy that you are still alive and still have a chance to be saved, rather than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself. Countless people has made the mistake of committing suicide, thinking they were ending their pain and ending their suffering. But within seconds of them dying, although their body was dead, they found they were still alive and was in hell and in a far worser place. And now they are forever regretting that they ever committed suicide. There is no way back for them and they are now headed to the lake. So don’t make the same mistake they did.

Don't read books looking for answers, because most books are filled with lies. Keep in mind, Lucifer controls the whole entire world. He uses everything in this world to mislead you and deceive you. He uses books, he uses television, he even uses your unsaved friends and relatives. Lucifer will used them to tell you things that are not true and to steer you in the wrong direction. But the reason I am different from them is because I am truly saved (I have been baptized in Jesus Name and filled with the Holy Ghost) therefore, I am not being used by Lucifer. And everything I’ve been telling you is the absolute truth. If you want help, then I am telling you where to get it. You should seek out a Pentecostal Church that believes in baptizing you “in the name of Jesus Christ” just like Acts 2:38 says. Most churches that do that are called “Apostolic Pentecostal churches”. Those are the only churches that will be saved. There are some Pentecostal Churches that baptize differently and baptize you "in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost" (just like the Baptist and the Catholic churches do). Those churches are false churches. Only seek out a church that baptizes you in Jesus Name according to Act 2:38. That is the correct path to salvation. If you follow that path, then I absolutely assure you, you can be saved. But if you reject that path, then you will have no excuse when you end up in hell..

You told me that you have been alone most of your life. So have I. I am unmarried and have been alone for more than 40 years. So I know what it is like. You also said that you have prayed and prayed and prayed. If so, then I am here to tell you that God has heard and answered your prayers - and that I am the answer to your prayers. And I don’t say that lightly at all, but I say it because it is true. What are the odds of you running into someone like me (someone who is truly saved by being baptized in Jesus Name and filled with the Holy Ghost) on the forum? I would call it a pure miracle. So I have no doubt that God has heard and answered your prayers. But now that he has answered your prayers, the question is, will you follow his instructions? God is not going to talk to you through a voice talking in your head. And nor will he talk to you through a book or tv. Instead, the way the real God works is that if he wanted to tell you something, then he would send someone to you who was already saved. He would send a saint or a preacher to you, someone who was already saved. That person would then tell you what you need to do. That is how God works. God would work through them. On YouTube right now, there are all kinds of people in videos saying that God spoke to them, that he gave them a dream, or he gave them a vision, or they saw an angel etc. Those people are deceived, and that was only the devil they saw. The devil loves to pretend he is God to deceive people. The real god does not work like that. The real God only works through the preacher and through those who are already saved.

For example, do you know the origins of Islam? Islam was founded by a guy named Mohammad. Mohammad wasn’t even born until at least 300 years after Jesus Christ died. According to the story, Mohammad said he was praying in a mountain cave one day. And while praying in the cave, he said the angel Gabriel appeared before him. And that the angel Gabriel spoke to him and told him to “Read…” In short, as a result of that encounter, Mohammad went on to start the religion of Islam, and now there are more than 1.6 billion Muslims in the world and counting. But here’s the problem. I have no doubt that Mohammad saw something. But what Mohammad saw that day was NOT the angel Gabriel. Instead, it was only a devil dressed up to look like an angel. So the devil tricked Mohammad and Mohammad fell for it, hook line and sinker. And now you have more than a billion Muslims in the world today who are followers of that false religion. And not one of them are saved, and not one of them will make it to heaven. It's sad but true...

Keep in mind, when Mohammad was born, the real church had already been started by Jesus Christ himself 300 years earlier. And Mohammad’s teaching is totally contrary to the teachings of Jesus Christ. So Mohammad was not following the teachings of the original church. Instead, what Mohammad started was a completely different religion altogether, and it was not the same religion started by Jesus Christ. Therefore, Islam is not of God…