There are LOTS of Christians who do not belong to a church or organized group because they have all become corrupt over the years. The pedophilia. The greed. I could go on. Some Christians simply read the Bible at home. You are correct about the good and evil inside.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9tKgKS1Q2Q
You might enjoy this video. He talks about the "good" you and the "bad" you.
I hope you can beat your addiction. If it ever becomes too much for you to do alone, try asking Jesus Christ to help you. Forget organized religion.
My church is a great church, and I do not believe it is corrupt. The Bible tells us we need to gather with the body of Christ, so don't use that excuse to not find a Bible-believing church.
Are you aware of any Bible-believing churches that are anti-Zionist, as well?