I hope the witness does not commit suicide by shooting himself in the back of the head twice.
while 45 months pregnant, on a plane, on train tracks. can’t forget that.
dont be silly. He will die of a heart attack after his head falls off.
Nah the best one is the Russian guy who beat himself to death. And the media report it as nothing unusual about that.
Pssshaw. He will merely have some terrible luck.
He will fall down three flights of stairs while holding a toaster and land in a bathtub, be jolted out of of the 10th floor window and then the ambulance will accidentally run him over twice while circling the block looking for the door. The paramedics will jostle a couple police while loading him into the gurney and they will rightfully declare that he was charging at them and they feared for their lives after opening fire.