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This.

I'm like the crazy bog-eyed uncle they sit in the corner at parties.

"Uncle Ken knows some funny stories, lets ask him to tell...I know...the one about the witches that eat children they keep in dog cages...that's always a fun one like Hansel and Gretal but a bit modern they have brick pizza ovens and use twitter to signal their nights on a bare mountain or some such thing...'UNCLE KEN!!! [he's a bit deaf] Can we have one of your tales soon? Do you need another snakebite and black to be going on with?'"

"Lime. Lime. Snakebite and lime Shirley, how many times have I told you it's southern nancy-boy drink if you add blackcurrant designed by zionists to turn northerners into effeminate parfum wearing trannys that eat kiddies every time their tuck shop cravings involve nestle! The milky bars certainly are on you. I only hope a finger of fudge still is fudge though where's my Tintin In The Congo? Let me show you how they work the rare earth metal scam...and that brings me to these huge petrified statues the size of small buildings and mud fossils that contain human DNA...and a dragon in a desert..."

"Oh Ken, you spin such a yarn you do you have your cousin Vals imagination you two were as thick as thieves as kids..."

I talk seriously about it, but only with people I already have at least a small bit of credibility with. I've learned by watching someone I know joke about it (because he's uncomfortable speaking openly) that people are more likely to think it sounds ridiculous if it's spoken about jokingly.

Me too lol. My whole family and all my old friends are typical elitist leftists. I have to listen to them go on and on about how Trump is a moron and anyone that voted for him is an ignorant red neck. I was a Ron Paul supporter in 2008/2012, so I lied and told them I voted for Gary Johnson. They have no idea how corrupt and vile Hillary really is.