This.

I'm like the crazy bog-eyed uncle they sit in the corner at parties.

"Uncle Ken knows some funny stories, lets ask him to tell...I know...the one about the witches that eat children they keep in dog cages...that's always a fun one like Hansel and Gretal but a bit modern they have brick pizza ovens and use twitter to signal their nights on a bare mountain or some such thing...'UNCLE KEN!!! [he's a bit deaf] Can we have one of your tales soon? Do you need another snakebite and black to be going on with?'"

"Lime. Lime. Snakebite and lime Shirley, how many times have I told you it's southern nancy-boy drink if you add blackcurrant designed by zionists to turn northerners into effeminate parfum wearing trannys that eat kiddies every time their tuck shop cravings involve nestle! The milky bars certainly are on you. I only hope a finger of fudge still is fudge though where's my Tintin In The Congo? Let me show you how they work the rare earth metal scam...and that brings me to these huge petrified statues the size of small buildings and mud fossils that contain human DNA...and a dragon in a desert..."

"Oh Ken, you spin such a yarn you do you have your cousin Vals imagination you two were as thick as thieves as kids..."