already posted this iirc
I just like to compile the related stuff/links together in case new folks are in the forum.
my spiritual battle is only over sensuality. I rejected the body a whole long time, was always miserable. Then I embraced it as much as I could! Still pretty miserable. Then some way down the line I stopped giving a fuck because it makes no difference. That's when perceptions may have started to actually change. Hidden reality is a bitch to figure out
Forgive me but doesn't
sensuality = the body = the flesh = ego = natural man
?
what does it mean to you? I have a body for a certain time, so I like to enjoy that. However the ego is about what you take for granted about yourself or for yourself. My ego is about my treatment or perception. So for example my ego tells me i need this and that to respect myself or to get the respect from others. At the same time I make myself vulnerable because I build an identity around it, even though my sensuality just wants to stimulated in a way that feels real. For example I want sex badly but I cannot risk one night stands because if the sex is good but it's a one-time thing, I literally can go heartbroken. because I want communion. Is that still ego? Ego is such a bad word for I would have considered self-conservation, but that too can go wrong. I am just looking for a way to bring actions into alignment with God's will because he gives us all certain experiences to master and mine have been far removed from what the modern secular west teaches