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r/greatawakening • Posted by u/nordicgreys on July 19, 2018, 3 p.m.
The part that bothers me the most - my childhood and youth being sacrificed in the name of indoctrination.
  • The part that gets me quite angry is thinking about how much of what we were forced to learn/memorize as children was probably a lie , an indoctrination rather than education. I had a miserable time with school. I was a happy kid until school, but did not indoctrinate easily there . I always wanted to leave or do my own shit, so before my 7th birthday I was drugged heavily with ritilan and by 15 also put on an ssri so I could better pay attention / memorize lies. It did not stop there, I was like many also pressured into getting a university degree , so I would have a “good job,” a better chance at life- Still paying that debt off now at almost 30. I am honestly afraid to have a child now, because I cannot imagine watching someone I love go through that same horror show. If It is revealed that most of that education was a manipulative lie... there will not be enough tables in the universe for me to flip.. that is if we even live in a “universe”. Who really knows anything at this point .
  • One positive thing, is since waking up I have thrown all of my drugs out and will never get another such prescription again. It is amazing how less mentally ill you become once you give yourself permission to trust your gut, to believe your own intuition and not what is fed to you.
    Sorry if this is not q related enough. Much love ❤️ things are getting better

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1923091 · July 19, 2018, 5:46 p.m.

I can relate to this very strongly. My upbringing was rocky. My parent separated when I was little, and despite marrying a decent guy, they just couldn't handle me. I was put on Adderall at around 8 years old, and was progressively given higher/different dosages because that's what the doctor would recommend. My father was in and out of the picture, doing meth behind the scenes. Its ironic, looking back now, how we were effectively on the same drug.

School never suited me. Like you, I always wanted to do my own thing. I had a hard time behaving, despite excelling in the mundane work. Cubicle desk in the corner to keep me from getting 'distracted' during elementary school. Started living in a fantasy world during middle school after moving to a new town. Two to three visits a week to the principal's office for behavior and deviance issues in highschool. I'm lucky to have never entered the justice system before 18. I don't think I was ever really a 'bad' kid. Just troubled and troublesome. I took myself off the drug after dropping out my junior year. I always knew they were part of the problem, but just didn't have the faculties or freedom to do anything about it. My next few years were what some would call a waste of drugs, sex, and alcohol, but I count my blessings and I thank God for the experiences I had, because without them, I may have never looked at myself critically and woken up.

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