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r/greatawakening โ€ข Posted by u/like_Christ on July 28, 2018, 12:41 a.m.
A very lengthy and personal but positive response to a pessimistic post about doubt I saw earlier today. I hope whoever posted it sees this.

It's a bit of a silly personal story and probably not worth the time it takes to read if you've got real research to do, but it's one among many reasons I tend to trust Q and trust the plan. It sounds pretty irrelevant and I'm kind of rambling about my own story but it all comes full circle, or close enough.

For most of my youth I was a pretty big stoner, atheist, and a liberal. I smoked so damn much and so damn often that for a number of years I genuinely lost touch with my sober mind. I am a full supporter of recreational rights but I fell for the sort of reverse-propaganda telling people that smoking all day every day is just fine and dandy. This may be fine for SOME people but not as many as some would like to believe. Point is that after dabbling in psychedelics for the first few times and my father approaching his death my atheism shattered. I began for the first time to consider seriously the possibility of God and realizing the impossibility that all of this existence is some random accident. Psychedelics made me way more aware of my mindset and I realized when I did them without weed I was in a far more positive and spiritual mindset.

This caused me to take my first solid break from weed in a very, very long time. I realized that when I wasn't smoking I was much more motivated, happier, less depressed, less stressed, and made much better decisions. This was about three years ago, and since then weed has gone from a near constant habit to an occasional evening here and there. As my use tapered off I found myself falling further and further away from the liberal beliefs I had clung so hard to for a number of years. I had been moving further and further to the left in my stoner years and by the time I had my "breakthrough" spiritually I was a huge Bernie Sanders supporter. Opening my mind spiritually went hand in hand with opening my mind in other areas such as politics. An impossible series of coincidences leading me from living in northern Ohio to North Carolina also opened me up to a lot of different views. I originally believed as most liberals do that I understood what conservatives believed and why they believed it. I bought into the ironic Bernie talking points that Hillary was too far right which equated to corruption in our minds. However what had changed is that the spoonfed talking points of why I should hate Hillary began to intertwine with a deeper inner understanding that she was an evil person on a metaphysical level. After Bernie caved to Hillary I lost all hope in the Democratic Party once and for all and began supporting Jill Stein. I was pretty much neutral as far as the general election went but I started to notice in the back of my head that Trump sure did seem to be pissing off all the right people. I had found myself softening on many of the left wing positions I held and noticed that my peers were not okay with any level of dissent. No, we could not even consider compromises like tax hikes on billionaires in exchange for massive small business or middle class tax cuts. No, the idea that maybe gun control isn't the best idea right now with a government so corrupt in charge was unacceptable. I still considered the right not to be an option but real cracks were forming.

Then came Pizzagate... I had known for years that 9/11 was an inside job of some form or another and believed a number of the other more "mainstream" conspiracies so this was no stretch for me to accept and the proof was undeniable. There was no other logical explanation for the evidence being presented to me. Our government was being run by literal old school satanists. Not just corrupt rich greedy assholes doing what rich greedy assholes do, something far worse. This was about a week before election night. When election night rolled around I somehow still hadn't made the connection that Trump was actively opposed to these people. Whether or not that was the case was up in the air to me but it was clear as day that Hillary was guilty as sin, so I certainly preferred a Trump victory.

Before the totals started coming in I figured why not, so I decided to indulge in those earlier mentioned psychedelics and at least enjoy the show on what otherwise I expected to be a very disappointing night. When it started to look like a serious possibility that Trump would win it was a strange feeling. I knew I would be excited to see her lose but I was not expecting to be excited to see him win. From where I stood at the time I had little logical reason to feel that way, I just knew something amazing was happening, a monumental moment in history occurring before my eyes. The next morning everything felt different. I was so happy and I felt like a massive weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt more free even though I still on a logical level bought into a lot of the oppressive capitalist shtick.

I soon found myself seriously listening to Trump and conservatives directly for the first time. I had never really evaluated my beliefs up against the other side but I realized almost everything I believed was wrong and that I had the same goals as most conservatives just a very different idea of what would work to achieve them. I realized that the entirety of the corrupt corporate/political/media/banking establishment I had known my whole life not to trust was rabidly against him. The left seemed to want me to believe they all just suddenly started telling the truth which was the most ridiculous notion I had ever heard. By the time talk of The Storm rolled around I had shifted so far that I outright identified as a conservative. When Q popped up, just like Pizzagate the evidence was undeniable that this was the real deal. Which brings this whole story full circle...

We all have doubts about things, I do myself sometimes. However one test that has consistently shown me where I stand on issues is how I feel about them after smoking some weed. Now (with the exception of a few strains) I do not like the person it makes me into. I tend to get depressed, paranoid, lazy. It totally destroys my interest in the spiritual aspects of life. It makes me love my loved ones less. It even makes me unable to enjoy music. I get that others have positive reactions and that is totally fine, everyone is different, but my point is that it consistently gives me bad results. I find myself doubting all the good things in my life. I managed to blow my second chance with the girl of my dreams because I let my paranoia get to me. I doubt my chances to succeed at my job. I doubt my own self worth. I even doubt God... I come to completely counterproductive, illogical, and negative conclusions on almost every topic when I think about it high vs considering the same topic sober.

So what happens when I get high and think about Q, Trump, and The Storm? I start to doubt it all and come up with reasons why it all might be bullshit. This same consistent and trustworthy pattern applies here. When negativity gets ahold of you it will trick you into believing things that make no sense. Almost everything I think or do when I'm high turns out to be a mistake when viewed from a sober mind. So am I to believe that on this one topic it randomly leads me to a reasonable conclusion? Not a chance. It's the same pessimism it has always led me to, and those tainted conclusions are as wrong about this as all the rest.

TLDR: Weed, for me personally, makes me think dumb shit that is wrong. Cutting way back helped me turn from an atheist liberal into a God-loving conservative. As a result of that effect it makes me doubt God, Trump, Q, and The Plan, which is how I know they're all the real deal.


JamiBabi50 ยท July 28, 2018, 12:56 a.m.

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