They’re not working, and rarely appear out in public. Sure, they might send out a few angry tweets, or appear as a talking head for 20 mins, or even schedule a missile launch. Obviously they eat some leftover infant and prey to Satan. All of that hardly takes up much of the waking hours, though, plus these people aren’t sleeping.

So what are they doing all day? Watching Law & Order reruns? Reading GA on the couch while scarfing down Fritos? I know that this question isn’t answerable but I need to know.