Kek. The NI border issue is one that can be resolved in like 3 ways or so. Only problem is, each of the solutions will require one party to gobble on a triple-decker shit-burger.
No border / customs control? Not acceptable for EU. Would open doors for smuggling shit into the EU.
Border / customs control? Not acceptable for Ireland/NI. Paddies would bomb the crap out of NI again.
Staying in customs union? UK public would throw a gigantic fit.
I'll be watching with some snacks ready.