Cyber Warrior's Creed:

This is my keyboard. There are many like it, but this one is mine.

My keyboard is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

My keyboard, without me, is useless. Without my keyboard, I am useless. I must click my shift key true. I must write bloated code faster than my enemy who is trying to overload my inbox. I must spam him before he spams me.

My keyboard and I know that what counts in this war is not the lines of code we write, the tones of our WAV files, nor the PowerPoint briefings we make. We know that it is file size that counts.

My keyboard is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strengths, its numeric keypad, its F-function keys, its uppercase characters, and its macros. I will ever guard it against the ravages of crumbs and dust bunnies as I will ever guard my legs, my arms, my eyes and my heart against carpal tunnel syndrome. I will keep my keyboard clean and clicky. We will become part of each other.

Before Bill Gates, I swear this creed. My keyboard and I are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my blog.

So be it, until victory is America's and there is no enemy, but unfettered internet access!