Looks like I'm drinking this Champagne alone so…
What's the difference between 4th of July and New Years Eve?…about three hours
What's the difference between cheap Champagne and good moonshine?…the size of the bubbles? No faggot the size of the hangover…
Night shift always says…they were breathing last time I looked…
That's fucking funny right there, I don't care how who you are…tiny bubbles
Drunk posting always better than drunk texting…bahahahaha!!!
Where's the fuckin like button???
Ward nurse here, take these meds before I call security. Shit this is number five, now I'll have to fucking captcha again if I think of anything snarky
20 years of reading doctors handwriting and captcha driving me up the wall, goodnight faggots I'm taking my drunk ass to bed, bottle is MT