Your perception of your own reflection is your challenge. From my observation you are missing all the positive things that are happening anon. You are incorrect in every one of your observations you wrote.
Bob Marley said it best. Lively up yourself anon. Positive vibration is everything as we traverse the swamp. Its not an eays emotional journey sometimes. Only you can pull your way out of this funk / depression. Time to change your viewing angle. You are not alone here. We have all had to go through this challenge at one point or another. Every thought matters anon. Every observation and what you are reflecting make all the difference in the world. They call it a psyop for a reason. Psyops go both ways. Stand firm anon WWG1WGA.