Praying for you. My life has been like that. Each man is the only one responsible for taking care of his own heart.
"Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life." Proverbs 4:23 (Holman translation)
Remember that you may have already earned rich treasure in the heavenly realm and a crown of honour, but that does not mean you will be wealthy or appreciated by 'the world' before you are in heaven.
Yeshua said "I am coming quickly. Hold on to what you have, so that no one takes your crown." "… My reward is with Me to repay each person according to what he has done." Revelation 3:11 & 22:12
This life is short, and the next is eternal. This life is not about happiness, but the next one is. We just need to make it through this one without giving up.
"Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life." Revelation 2:10
Hope you will keep your mind on the sacred scriptures and the supernatural hope & wisdom they contain.
"May our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father (who has loved us and given us eternal encouragement and good hope by grace) encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good work and word." 2nd Thessalonians 2:16
Wishing you blessings and comfort to your soul.
"Because you have kept My command to endure, I will also keep you from the hour of testing that is going to come over the whole world to test those who live on the earth." Revelation 3:10