/christian/, my heart is so low. I have a couple of room mates. They're married actually. They are the best friends I've ever had or possibly ever will have. We've been there for each other through thick or thin. But they're so in love with each other. They care for each other so much. I have to live with seeing this intimacy daily. It's just the living situation I'm in right now but no one hates it. They care for each other. They know each other. They're one in flesh. They love each other like Christ loves the church. They're in the next room prayer a rosary as I write this. They're one. And it reminds me how lonely I feel. Loneliness is a spirit I fight on a daily basis. It's my greatest spiritual challenge. I have their friendship, their companionship even. And that is more than most people can ever say. Im grateful for that. But to be loved– not only to be loved, but to have children of my own to lavish my love upon, it is my hearts deepest desire. They're like family to me. One day they'll have children, and Ill be there.

I dont think I have the courage to type the rest of what is on my heart.

I ask for prayer, that my heart doesn't fail, and that Christ's all-sufficient presence fills the aching loneliness in my heart. God bless.