Prayed for these
You likely hold hidden resentments towards your parents, possibly for justifiable reasons. You seem to be denying the truth to yourself, causing undue stress and straining your relationships with others. It would be the type of thing to talk about with a counselor if good ones existed. I'd pray and think about it or talk to someone you trust and try to think about what happened in your childhood to cause this strained relationship. I'll pray that you gain insight.