Is it okay or shall I say, "safe" to admit depression to your doctor? I'm sure they will ask if I have firearms in my house if I do. I mean when you're depressed I'm sure you think about suicide, but I won't ever do it but the thought does come up but it's a after thought. Because we'll for one if I blow my brains out I'm dead and it's over, I'm gone. Poof. So why the heck would I kill myself if it's the last thing I'll do, I have to fight to keep living, but I find that living is just a bit miserable and all tiresome. I'm just really tired.

So is it safe to admit or what? NC State if that helps. They do a mental background check to see if you been admitted or whatever when you get your Conceal Carry weapons permit, for some reason Boomer republicans passed. Bullshit. But that's about it. I think it's if you been admitted involuntarily or something. I don't know. I don't see why I need to be admitted but who knows how those people think.

What do I do? I want some help, I don't want some pills that white people take and be on anti depressants or some crazy shit, I can't even swallow pills.