http://gen.lib.rus.ec/book/index.php?md5=7FF48E0CA7894DA38A13CB005646A4AC
>Hans Fallada - A Stranger in My Own Country: The 1944 Prison Diary
less disingenuous diarist than Haffner >>1454 >>1838
>leading and ‘respected’ Nazi newspapers and journals described me as ‘the poster-boy goy for all the Jews on the Kurfürstendamm’, they called me ‘the notorious pornographer’, and right up until the end disputed my right to live and write in Germany.
still, the german cathedral is embarassed about him because of such passages:
>And I’ll say it here and not mince my words: it wasn’t the Germans who did the most to pave the way for National Socialism, it was the French and the British. Since 1918 there have been many governments who were more than willing to cooperate – but they were never given a chance. It was repeatedly forgotten that they were not only the executors of measures forcibly imposed by foreign countries, but also the representatives of an impoverished and starving people, whom they loved! It is those others who have thrust us into the abyss, into the hell in which we are now living!
>And then came the time when the new regime seized power, and everything changed. Now Paulchen and Leopold Ullstein were always in a huddle, they always had something to discuss, and whenever somebody else came into the room they stopped talking. They were the Jews, and we were the gentiles, they belonged together, and we were the outsiders. During those weeks I came to understand that in the hour of danger a Jew feels closer to another Jew, however much they disagree and differ, than to his truest friend of non-Jewish blood. I realized that the Jews themselves are the ones who have erected this barrier between themselves and other nations, which we refused to believe when the Nazis claimed as much; and that it is the Jews themselves who feel the difference in blood, and insist on it, when we had always smiled at the notion. This realization did not make me an anti-Semite. But I did come to see the Jews in a different light. I’m sorry, but that’s just how it is. I really hate to say it: but I can’t alter the fact.
>…what I discovered was that the Jews have a different attitude to money than I do, and it was an attitude that I didn’t care for personally, in fact one that I found quite repugnant. One of them came back for the sake of money, the other one wouldn’t leave for the sake of money: but both of them allowed themselves to be humiliated for the sake of money, consciously and by their own choice.