TyB
Bonny new captcha this AM.
Can see floor in den, time to get another load. Need to get house on market, difficult going through spouse's things, most people have luxury of waiting until they are ready.
Reading one of 3 books I found in spouse's bedside table, the forward got my attention speaking of conspiracies and corruption in DC as Abe Lincoln becomes president. Captains and Kings, it's taking mind off troubles even if only for a moment, relief from anxieties welcome.
Going through files yesterday I came across our wedding vows, read them aloud, the memory so vivid. Spouse said the loudest I Do you ever heard, still laugh through tears at that. Married by an Admiral. SS sent me letter saying I'm not married anymore, doesn't feel that way. Memories that should be happy only bring tears, lump in throat always there. I feel cheated and alone in the new house we built to live our golden years together. Can't even get a dog, fear of losing another stops me.
Overwhelming, 41 days...
200+ miles to drive, hopefully I can make more progress at other house. Tossing things a little easier, not holding on to everything. Walked in spouse's closet yesterday and realized it's like a shrine, why am I doing this?.
Heading to veranda, as spouse called it, second coffee on back porch to watch sun come up.
Ya'll habs a guud day, and would someone deliver me one of them shakes? Been looking at them with raised brow long time and still haven't had one.
Holy crap didn't mean to write book, sorry guys.