>Does that product exist?
Unless you have Windows 7-8 or 10 without updating the Windows Movie Maker I've not found a simple one stop program for your requirements.
If you can spin up a VM with Windows 7 Pro it will have the software I think, later it was in Windows Essentials. For adding text it is the simplest I have found.
After the editing I just run the file through Handbrake for compression.
>I would be an impossible "client" bc the way i develop materials is to keep refining everything based on ongoing feedback
Kek like those people that have an idea for a meme...ends up being the Sistine Chapel ceiling.
Sorry under 5 minutes for a meme is the goal. Kek