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Bovine Economics

Basic Economics, brought up to date…

Socialism:

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.

The government charges a gift tax.

Communism:

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.

Fascism:

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and sells you some milk.

Nazism:

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and shoots you.

Bureaucratism:

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

Traditional Capitalism:

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

Goldman Sachs (Venture) Capitalism:

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.