I sacrificed for you and spent time watching almost all of the DNC last night…..Here are my notes:
(Insert black B-list celebrity no one cares about)
"MUH DAHNALD DRUMPF IS KILLING US…"
(Insert liberal musician to sing song about equality and racism)
-
Sings song -
(Insert Julia Louis-Dreyfus)
"MUH PUSSY!!! I LIKE BEING A NASTY WOMAN" (actual quote)
(Insert random multi-cultural "citizens")
"DAHNALD DRUMPF MADE ME LOSE MY JAHHHHB!!!! VOTE BIDEN!"
(Insert "lifelong republican" who is now voting for Joe Biden…)
"I MUH VOTED FOR DRUMPF LAST TIME, BUT NOW I'M GUNNA VOTE FOR MUH JOE!!!!"
(Insert Julia Louis-Dreyfus)
"MUH GRAB EM BY THA PUSSY!!!!!"
(Insert Chorus of Rando Democrats)
"ORANGE MAN BAD!!!!!!!"
(Insert senile old man, WWII Vet who probably has Alzheimer's)
"DAHNALD IS RUINING AMERICA, I AM VOTING JOE THIS TIME AROUND…." (Drools…..)
(Insert Julia Louis-Dreyfus)
"MUH PEE PEE JOKE, DOO DOO, CACA ORANGE MAN BAD!!!"
(Insert random gay people, an american indian, a few auto worker union people)
"ORANGE MAN BAD!!! HE MADE US LOSE OUR JAHHHBS!!!"
(Insert 13 year old who stutters - JUST LIKE JOE USED TO!!)
"SSSSssssssssSSSSSssssssssssssstop Daaaaaahhhh…..dahhhhh…..dahhhhhnald Drruuuu……Druuuuuumpf!!! Joeeee……jjjj…jjjj…jjjjjjoe…. used tooooooo…… ssssssssT….Ssssssttttttuttttters jjjjjj….. just like I ddddd…..dddddoooooo, SO Vvv…Vv……..VOTE for Hhhhhhh……Hhhhhhhhim!!!"
(Insert Julia Louis-Dreyfus)
"MUH DRUMPF IS MURDERING POSTAL WORKERS AND STEALING MAILBOXES!!!!!"
(Insert 45 minutes of bitching and moaning about USPS)
(Insert Joe Biden)
"ORANGE MAN BAD!!! USPS DEAD CUZ ORANGE MAN!!! WE HAVE NO JOBS, NO ECONOMY, CUZ ORANGE MAN COVID. VOTE ME TO MAKE CHANGE!!!! I DO GOODER!!!"
(The End)