What keeps all of you going? I have had everything I cherished most taken away from me, as I am sure most of you also have experienced.
I think the only thing that keeps me going everyday is being pleasantly surprised by the kindness of strangers. I always expect the worst out of everyone, but Q was right to say that there are more good people than bad people. Am I the bad one for thinking and expecting the worst out of everyone?
I have heard so many empty platitudes that I have tried to apply to my own life. I think I am most amazed by everyone that doesn't give up despite the fact that life is ultimately cruel and meaningless.
I'm sorry. I cry all the time because life doesn't make sense. Because life is cruel and unfair. Because I see those who have less than me and yet they haven't given up. Everyday that I am here I just think about how badly I just want to stop existing.
I think this site is more tragic than reddit
As much as I tried to portray myself as a good person, I am not a good person at all.
So many pretty words to make you think that this ugly world will ever be something other than what it is
It's not even about the money. It's about the connections, the warmth, the family, etc.
We'll never have karaoke again.
The things we didn't appreciate when we were able to appreciate them… These things are never coming back.
The world ended 11/09/16
Chadwick and my dad both succumbed to cancer. I took a photo of my dad days before he passed away. Seeing all of his supposed friends performatively posting photos of him when he was in his better days, while I had to take care of him and watch him die, really made me angry. Everyone told me I shouldn't have taken a photo of my dad in that state, but I did. I want to know how awful old age and disease is… But also not for me: to be able to show everyone that their stupid performative social media posts mean nothing. He was suffering and struggling, but the same people who posted about him once he passed away… They were never there when he was still around. They never called him or me to ask how he was doing.
I tried.
It was really awful and lonely.
As much as everyone tries to tell you that they care and that you shouldn't kill yourself…
Nobody really cares.
I didn't die.
I would much rather just fuck things up for everyone else around me.
And that is exactly what I will do.
You can try to tell me that I sold my soul to the devil by choosing to live my life in this fashion.
But honestly, I am dead already. You can commit the worst atrocities in front of my face, and I still wouldn't flinch.
I tried.
It was really awful and lonely.
As much as everyone tries to tell you that they care and that you shouldn't kill yourself…
Nobody really cares.
I didn't die.
I would much rather just fuck things up for everyone else around me.
And that is exactly what I will do.
You can try to tell me that I sold my soul to the devil by choosing to live my life in this fashion.
But honestly, I am dead already. You can commit the worst atrocities in front of my face, and I still wouldn't flinch.
I tried.
It was really awful and lonely.
As much as everyone tries to tell you that they care and that you shouldn't kill yourself…
Nobody really cares.
I didn't die.
I would much rather just fuck things up for everyone else around me.
And that is exactly what I will do.
You can try to tell me that I sold my soul to the devil by choosing to live my life in this fashion.
But honestly, I am dead already. You can commit the worst atrocities in front of my face, and I still wouldn't flinch.
I try. I really do.
Sean Astin spoke at my graduation and he was so aloof and whatever about it all.
Devil’s in my bed
And now he’s begging me to spread my legs
Please come again son
Don’t you understand
You were not meant to end up in this bed
I can’t help myself
One bite it was enough to
To make his gun go off
And shoot me right through
I’m eating all I can now
Straight out of the Devil’s hand
Oh what a thing to do
Lust can blind your eye
And when you run your fingers down my spine
And when you run your fingers down my spine
I clearly took the bait
And now I give more than I care to take
Must be a price to pay
Oh yeah
Hell yeah
Oh yeah
Oh no no no
One bite it was enough to
To make his gun go off
And shoot me right through
I’m eating all I can now
Straight out of the Devil’s hand
Oh what a thing to do
Devil’s in my bed
And now he’s begging me to spread my legs
Please come again son
Don’t you understand
You were not meant to end up in this bed
I can’t help myself
One bite it was enough to
To make his gun go off
And shoot me right through
I’m eating all I can now
Straight out of the Devil’s hand
Oh what a thing to do
Lust can blind your eye
And when you run your fingers down my spine
And when you run your fingers down my spine
I clearly took the bait
And now I give more than I care to take
Must be a price to pay
Oh yeah
Hell yeah
Oh yeah
Oh no no no
One bite it was enough to
To make his gun go off
And shoot me right through
I’m eating all I can now
Straight out of the Devil’s hand
Oh what a thing to do
except for taylor swift
He didn't want this