Anonymous ID: ffb738 Sept. 1, 2020, 11:59 p.m. No.10501274   🗄️.is 🔗kun   >>1290 >>1319 >>1323 >>1333

>>10501189

>Truth is, by now they may have gotten to all of us, but only some remember.

not to add to the sob pile

but

this anon has a serious memory issue/feature

my memory is like an etch-e-sketch

anything over a years starts to get really hazy, past 5 years, forget it

I dont forget skills/ vocabulary/ training

I forget events, faces, and eventually whole blocks of memory

I couldnt tell you a single name of a teacher I had in school

I can remember some of the classrooms, a few scattered memories

I am constantly in conversations with friends about things we did together, and I just nod along because I literaly have zero recollection of it

I am now 33 years old, and its still with me

Its not like specific things get wiped (maybe they do, fuck if I know) its more like I said at the begining, an etch-e-sketch, shaking away.

I have no memories of SRA happening to me, but plenty of …red flags…

I understand the feels, anon

Anonymous ID: ffb738 Sept. 2, 2020, 12:20 a.m. No.10501356   🗄️.is 🔗kun

>>10501319

>You should also look into what I mentioned to the other anon.

>It may help you piece things together.

I have gone deep into those subjects as well

felt like I was 'called' to the research if that makes sense

I always thought the memory thing with me was like a big 5 personality trait until I really began studying SRA, particularly hearing the first hand accounts of victims

 

then you notice that your whole extended (mostly military) familiy is either in:

 

-medicine

-law

-aerospace

 

And ohh yeah, a fair portion of them are 'honorable masons'

My grandarents/parents are not (thankfully?), but my grandmother has a masonic ring from one of her sisters husbands just in case she needs any "assistance" from the brotherhood

 

"…its a small world afterall…"

Anonymous ID: ffb738 Sept. 2, 2020, 12:23 a.m. No.10501365   🗄️.is 🔗kun

>>10501323

>I thought it was because I made myself retarded from working with solvents.

how many of us are gaslighting ourselves, trying to explain away the symptoms innocently

God wins

and [they] hate Jesus for a reason

Anonymous ID: ffb738 Sept. 2, 2020, 12:29 a.m. No.10501381   🗄️.is 🔗kun

>>10501333

>so be aware of any behavioural quirks

if you are ready for it, scan back on your early childhood for things that you remeber making you feel unexplainably uncomfortable

 

an example;

 

The Clash - Rock The Casbah

 

Every since I can remember, this song makes me feel instantly panicky. I get filled with a sense of dread that is absolutely unrelated to any of the lyrics of the song. Heart racing, and having thoughts about being separated from my family and never seeing my parents again.

 

before I began looking into this stuff that is something I have kept stuffed pretty deep inside, and just like, avoid that song, obviously.

 

what does it mean? fuck if I know

but it doesnt seem benign to have such a visceral and specific reaction to a random alt-rock track.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ9r8LMU9bQ