Anons work upon yourself. Go inside, in a state of meditative contemplation. Still your mind, that your Soul may have room in which to make It's 'still-small voice' heard. Ask your Infinite Creator to help you, and listen to your inner voice. Be patient, it takes time to develop this inner communication, after a lifetime of neglect. When you persevere and keep working on yourself, gradually it will come to you, and when it does, you must learn to TRUST in your Inner Guidance, NO MATTER WHAT OTHERS MAY SAY. That is the ultimate test. To Trust what you know deep inside as your Truth, even when the whole world tells you that you are "wrong". It is hard work, to Trust yourself when all those around you doubt you and call you crazy, but it is the job you came here to do.