tho if I had a single question above all others it'd be (after making the post which will take a few hours to make and not include that many photos, just enough to explain major things) - then should I be

A."asking for help"

B."asking for a FOIA one myself or SusieQ"

C."asking for a lawyer"

D. Just telling the story of Alan.

E. Telling the whole story of AB:BA

F. Another closely related possibility I haven't considered

G. Another distantly related possibility that I need to look for more clues to realize

>>1059021

you don't have to answer that, I' m just posting because I don't know what can and can't be said. you have never told me anything yet because certain things happen after I say and do things I realize them on my own. So giving me a letter is probably off limits but it is just a number of things I'm considering might be the logical path forward.

If nothing else I'll do the post that tells it, and then decide if I need to do one of those.

I seriously thought that finding 1 packet hidden with a bit of difference and this key meant it was poison. And I still think it might be - why would someone hide tea? This place is just full of secrets…. any my family is full of cult members - so my entire life fits on the QMAP. SatanQO? is that closer to it? same number of letters… well I'll get back to work Tho when I say "you" in those contexts of the other posts I recognize that it may sound like I'm a lunatic… I have an obsessive need to explain what it is I'm doing perhaps for validation - and I jump to conclusions and all sorts of other things. I have so many issues and yet someone's been helping me - I just now had a brief panic that I said the wrong thing and I am always second guessing myself…. but I am more confident of what I need to do and just getting someone like me to realize the sky is blue is perhaps a miracle of miracles.

and now I notice it's linked to that… I was actually counting on my fingers several times to figure things out. I've still never read a book and have to count using my fingers. I don't know a damn thing about why I am the way I am but it appears that I'm not too far from answers.