>10606750
read Buckminster Fuller's "guinea pig b" if you have time
pdfs available via search function
solved anons money problems
>The thought then came that my impulse to commit suicide was a consequence of my being expressly overconcerned with "me' and "my pains,' and that doing so would mean that I would be making the supremely selfish mistake of possibly losing forever some evolutionary information link essential to the ultimately realization of the as-yet-to-be-known human function in Universe. I then realized that I could commit an exclusively ego suicidea personal-ego "throwaway'if to the voice of wants only of "me' but instead commit my physical organism and nervous system to enduring whatever pain might lie ahead while possibly thereby coming to mentally comprehend how a "me-less' individual might redress the humiliations, expenses, and financial losses I had selfishly and carelessly imposed on all the in-any-way-involved others, while keeping actively alive in toto only the possibly-of-essential-use-for-others inventory of my experience. I saw that there was a true possibility that I could do just that if I remained alive and committed my self to a never-again-for-self-use employment of my omni-experience-gained inventory of knowledge. My thinking began to clear.
https://www.bfi.org/about-fuller/biography/guinea-pig-b