Just spent three hours on the phone (mostly non-violent) with my first wife about some paperwork from 49 years ago.

Along the way we strayed into the topic of domestic politics. She's convinced that the country is lost, but hates Donald Trump. She knows that he's not responsible for any of it, but still hates him. She can't think of a thing that he's done to harm the country … but she hates Donald Trump. He's somehow responsible for the events in Kenosha. She claims Kyle was part of a militia (news to me and, I suspect, news to him) and shouldn't have had a firearm to defend himself against his unarmed attackers. I pointed out that he was going toward the police when he was chased down. "No he wasn't. I didn't see it." Pointed out that he was hit with a huge skateboard after he fell. Then kicked in the head. Then struggled for control of his rifle with a guy who, in the moment before he was shot in the arm, was pointing a pistol at him. "I didn't see no pistol." Me: well, I did, in two separate shots. "It was too blurry." Me: maybe in what your local news showed you, but in at least one frame, you can see it clearly enough to know that it's a Glock.

Her: orange man bad.

Three hours of this.

I'm glad that things got bad enough (couldn't keep her knees together) that decades ago, I divorced her and got custody of our sons.

Because "Orange Man" isn't bad.

The last time I talked with her was in 2015 and things were cordial then, so I hope you'll forgive me if I didn't make a better showing. It was kind of a surprise for her to call asking if I still had a certified copy of our wedding license from 1971.

Noooo … but I DO have a copy of the divorce decree. Will that help?