>>10663363 pb

>i feel like i can't belong to anything or enjoy anything, because i know it's all fake. idk what do.

Take up the hobby or Astronomy. It's the only field of science where each and everyone of us has equal access to the subject matter. Besides the sense of accomplishment you get from learning to navigate your way around the night sky, there are millions of things to learn. Everything from native and indigenous sky-lore to celestial navigation, seasonal changes of the sky as well as north vs. south hemisphere observing. You can even learn to grind your own lenses/mirrors to build your own telescope. With the advent of digital cameras, astrophotography has never been easier. All this can be done as individuals or in groups. No pun intended but "the sky is the limit".

Once you learn to locate and observe ever fainter and more obscure/difficult objects throughout the night sky your Earthly problems will seem incredibly insignificant. There's nothing like allowing photons of light that have been traveling for 2.4 Giga Light Years to gently fall on your retinas especially if you locate the object yourself. (Quasar 3C 273 pictured.)

All you need to start are your eyes, a comfortable chair or blanket on the grass and inexpensive star chart for your latitude. You'll need a dim red flashlight to read the chart too. Good luck!