I wish we had a party line, like Ma Bell gave us back in the 60s and 70s. Back then we could lift up our receivers and talk to the other faggots if they lifted up their receivers at the same time.
I just want to talk to someone who knows what is going on.
Hell, I'd even settle for the old "2 Tomato Soup Cans Connected By Fishing Line" kind of phone that my best friend and I rigged when we were little kids living across the street from each other. That phone worked great for almost one week, until the big, tall garbage truck drove through the fishing line and sucked the screens out of our bedroom windows, dragging our 2 Tomato Soup Cans off into oblivion….