Aye.
We all are struggling. You are not crazy. You are simply awake. Like Adam once he bit into the apple.
The truth is a bitter pill to swallow, but it is a liberating revelation.
Once you know the truth, you are liberated from the shadow of doubt that has been cast over our people. You see the world for what it is– a very wicked place.
Take solace in this thought:
The world is not a wicked place because God has abandoned us. It is a wicked place because God has granted us the Freedom to find our own way, and many have chosen to abandon him.
You know the truth in your heart. Now focus on building your conviction. Be confident in yourself, not because you have led a successful human life, but because you are One with the Divine Spirit.
This world is merely a waiting room for the Divine Kingdom. Eventually, we will all be called home. Until then, make good use of the time given to you, and fight for Light and seek to protect the innocent from the wickedness that surrounds us.
God is with you, as are we.