> Be Hunter Biden
> Be seriously injured in a car crash at age 2
> Mother and sister both die
> Father spends the entirety of your waking life as a swamp hack in D.C.
> Father re-marries a woman who is totally insufferable
> But even she has a PhD and everyone calls her Dr. Jill
> Be the less successful brother
> Your father became a Senator in his 30s
> Be a total loser in your 30s
> Brother gets all the attention
> Brother dies
> Father becomes VP
> Still a loser
> Use alcohol drugs and prostitutes to numb the pain
> Get divorced
> Father runs for Pres.
> He constantly mentions Beau, never you
> Your nudes get leaked and your father loses by less than 100,000 votes
> All your fault