A cabbage fart just flew over my trailer.
Golden showers with Ashley Blazer are pouring down now.
I dropped my cowbell in the pond out back.
Natalie Wood is swimming out to get it.
Help me guise!
Shit's gonna be crazy from Nov. 3rd right up until inauguration day.
…and probably beyond.
It's gonna be a bloody Saturnalia!
Hunter's Blue Moon.
Water on the Moon.
Project Blue Beam.
Tingly almonds!
My girlfriend told me she would break up with me if I voted for Trump.
I HamSlammed her roommate rawdog.
I voted for Trump in person.
I stole her mail-in ballot and voted Trump on that one too.
NC 3rd Congressional District here.
Proudly voting for Murphy, but I miss Walter Jones.
Besides being my Mom's 1st cousin once removed, he was based AF!
Cabbage farts are rumored to weigh between 8-17 lbs.
I keep getting these texts telling me to vote for Cal Cunningham in NC.
Every single one comes from a California/New York/Virginia area code.
Can they at least text from a NC area code?
Nothing wrong with a grown woman grooming the nether-regions.
I lost my man-cherry at 14 and she had mega bush.