Just throwing this out there in case it resonates with anyone:

After many months and years of struggle & despair, and feeling like I lost 'the game of life', tonight I enjoyed an amazing spiritual peace. To such a degree that it seemed like I truly experienced the trancendence I had been seeking since a young man. I knew for a fact that I had done everything I reasonably could have done, considering my situation and with my personal limitations & mistakes, and I was at complete peace with whatever happens next.

That is such a wonderful feeling. A sensation I imagine many people do not experience even if they have obtained enough wealth and power to be prosperous and comfortable for the rest of their lives.

I don't know whether next week will kick off the start of 'the great tribulation', or a golden age of justice and transparency, or maybe even 'the rapture'. Or just another decade towards me becoming more old, poor, and alone. The peace I felt was so great that I didn't care which of those things it turns out to be.

Thank you anons for your comradarie and prayers over the past three years. I hope I can tune in to this feeling/perspective on a more frequent basis, and I genuinely wish the best for all those hoping and searching for truth. It is such a blessed experience to hold no resentment to anyone that negatively impacted my life over decades of suffering. This to me is the peace I've been seeking.

God bless you, and God's will be done. Thank you anon, and I have hope to celebrate with you in the next life- whatever happens next in this short temporary world full of evil and lies and death. If there is still something good and beneficial I can do in this life, then I embrace that responsibility. If not, I have already accepted that this life experience will end for me sooner or later. And I hope I did something worthwhile that enables some others to carry on the good struggle in a slightly better way than if I hadn't tried.