MOMENTS AGO
Astronauts aboard the international space station have confirmed today, a secret compartment full of votes for Joe Biden in 2020 and 2024 have been found. Space x has launched two proto-type deep space Falcon-11 rockets to retrieve the chests and return them to the state of Nevada immediately.
DEVELOPING
THIS JUST IN (BREAKING NEWS)
Moments ago, divers discovered a sunken vehicle in the Potomac river with what appears to be, two trunks full of Joe Biden ballots for 2020.
Crowds of liberals have already gathered around the banks of the river, shouting, "Every vote must count!"
Developing…
Breaking News
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"We are the news now!"
Overnight, Democrat campaign overseers ordered and had almost 300,000 boxes of pizza delivered to hungry poll workers in Georgia. Poll workers were very thankful and able to confirm by the end of the shift that Joe Biden now has the lead in Georgia. Nothing out of the normal is suspected. "Nothing to see here said one of the poll workers and he stuffed a slice of pizza into his mouth, preventing him from being able to answer any of our questions" "We were starving" said another tally man as he covered the massive stacks of pizza boxes with a tarp to keep them warm.
Not Developing, GO AWAY!
Cunts before dickheads. THAT fits better than anything else, currently.
No one will bat an eyelash, anon. All they care about is winning.
Yeah… what's coming is suicide weekend and it's probably for us.
There's nothing there anon. We looked at literally hundreds of ballots in the lab all day yesterday with spectroscopes and electron microscopes. This is propaganda put out by the left, hoping they can keep you sitting on the edge of your seat for just a few more moments, believing something is going to drop, while they seal off this election. Meanwhile, they have all of our names and addresses already and have given us designated numbers so they know where to send us when we are retrieved. And that my fren, won't be much longer. Unlike the cowardly republicans, the democrats act.