HE'S A WIENIEMAN!
Seriously, though.
How does Zuck have such bad network? This could really be explained by poor data upload/artifacts, but it's really fun to think that he's just a series of algorithms. Same with Jack. Maybe they're highly advanced AI's that have to masquerade as people. That's ghey, though.
Also, really convenient that they don't have to show in person like the very first time they started going to DC for this shit.Almost like it's part of the plan or something..
TL;DR
Attack of the wiener man!