Hate to break it to you but America is not a Muslim country. This is our land and it will be reformed in the imagine of Prophet Mohammed. Submitting to allah is the easiest way to come to terms with the transition. Look it’s not so bad we’ll even throw in 72 virgins and a river of wine. The alternative is years of jihad. Chose wisely I’d go with the introductory offer… Yours truly,

Abraham Aiyash