Fought and won that battle years ago, Anon.
Step 1: Remind yourself that you deserve to be treated better than you are treating yourself.
Step 2: If that doesn't work, remind yourself that your kiddos deserve better.
Step 3: Put down the bottle and every time you want some, put the money you would spend on drink into the kiddos' Christmas fund.
Step 4: Lather, rinse, repeat.
Take control over the things you can change. Let the rest happen and control your responses to it with a clear mind. There is no situation so tragic or horrible that cannot be made worse with alcohol.
Be strong.