lately, all i want to do is smoke, cry, and sleep. i think my medication has stopped working. i am bipolar and haven't been able to work for 12 years. parents gone. lost a son to drugs. two failed marriages. kids don't want anything to do with me. fell like i have no purpose anymore and didn't feel this way just 4-5 months ago. not looking for answers or sympathy. just i'm posting it here because i can do so anonymously and get it off my chest.
ty anon. i hope so.
a take a couple walks each day outside. one for 2 miles and the other shorter. its about all i can manage right now but endurance is building. i dread it each day but feel a little better afterwards. at least i've done something good for myself. started feeling bad in august or september. just constant worry and fear.
i''m in texas. if it ain't from big pharma, it ain't allowed here and won't be as long as abbott rolls around the capitol.
i've been staying away from the news for a while. haven't been here hardly at all but knew i could vent and get some words of wisdom like yours. taking care of 'me' one day at a time is what i've tried to focus on. can't do anything about any of the other things i fear and the walking and better diet helps. have lost 40 lbs since feb.
thanks. the sunshine helps each day and i guess i'm gonna have to be brutally honest with my doctor. doc just seems to think i need more sleep and wants me to take an ambien every night. it hasn't been helping. probably making the morning depression and anxiety worse.
it's goal number 1a right along with fixing myself. i feel i need to do more of that first but i keep in touch with my son. he just doesn't keep in touch with me as much and my daughter and i have been on the outs for 5-6 years now. have only seen her and spoken to her once…a couple years ago. she's in college somewhere but i'm not even sure where.
i agree. i don't feel like i set a good example. am in my 50s and have trouble getting through the day. i used to have a great career at a major corporation's HQ. 16 years.
i was raised by parents like that and was once a man like that myself. i gathered the courage the leave a career that had dead-ended for me and was turning things around when wife #1 left with the kids. i stayed close to them until their mother moved them 1000 miles away from me. still saw them 3-4 times per year for a few days at a time. i had some failings with my 2nd marriage. was a waste of time in a mid-life crisis that didn't help with my relationship with my daughter. have a good wife now but daughter wants nothing to do with us. rambling now.
end of bread coming up. thanks for all the advice anon. you guys are always helpful.