Tomorrow I am going into work early. I will get my morning coffee, and sit in my car and watch the sun go up, sipping the warm elixir as it courses through my system and warms up my bowels. I will eat a warm cinnamon roll and contemplate the fate of the nation. Then, as the first one entering the building, I will go into my bosses office, gingerly climb up onto his desk, squat, let out a primal scream, and take this most massive glorious shit of my lifetime. Tomorrow I quit.