just tongue my anus, how hard can it be?
there's nothing like "caring for your fellow man" than sacrificing a little distasteful disdain on the tongue to an asshole for the betterment of mankind and making sure your fellow man doesn't get colon cancer.
just carry a bottle of listerine around, it's no different than hand sanitizer after all.
colonoscopies are probably pretty expensive and time consuming whereas you could simply tongue the anus and also help your fellow man save a buck!