I hear ya man. 2020 is just one of those years you want to pull the covers over your head until it's over.
The stress is taking a terrible toll. Just this year I've got cancer, a daughter has cancer, two heart surgeries and more for my brother in law, son in law shoulder surgery, wife has a nervous condition on her skin driving her nuts. No "covid" necessary to fuck things up.
Yeah, I kinda feel the same way. I volunteered for this life and despite some backsliding and mistakes I'm still in for the ride. Some mornings it is hard to get up though.
One thing that keeps me grounded is seeing the poor souls who are in worse shape than I am but keep on keeping on. Keeps me humble.
My daughter is a force of nature. When her friends found out she had cancer they said "Oh Shit, pity the cancer". She's tough.
It's gonna all shake out in the end, don't weaken. Just make sure you can look at that person in the mirror and smile back.
G'night Marine, I'll take the next watch. Semper Fi.