IT SNOWED LAST NIGHT…!

8:00 am - I made a snowman in my front yard.

8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snowwoman.

8:15 - So, I made a snowwoman.

8:17 - My feminist neighbor complained about the snowwoman's voluptuous chest saying it objectified snowwomen everywhere.

8:20 - The gay couple living nearby threw a hissy fit and complained and moaned, it should have been two snowmen instead.

8:21 - The lesbian couple living across from them, threw a hissy fit and complained and moaned, it should have been two snowwomen instead. (go figure, can’t win this one)

8:22 - The transgender man…women…man…women…?…person, asked why I didn't just make one snow person with detachable parts. (???? …… WTF)

8:25 - The vegans at the end of the lane complained about the carrot nose, as veggies are food, and not to decorate snow figures with.

8:28 - I was being called a racist because the snow couple is white. (My house was sprayed painted soon after that.)

8:31 - The middle eastern gent across the road demanded the snowwoman be covered up ………. or else.

8:40 - The Police arrived saying, someone had been offended. (They gave me a ticket for “not having an art permit” for spray painted graffiti on my house.)

8:42 - The feminist neighbor complained again that the broomstick of the snowwoman needed to be removed because it depicted snowwomen in a demoralizing domestic role.

8:43 - The council equality officer arrived and threatened me with eviction. (I think he was the one who spray painted my house.)

8:45 - TV news crews from NBC, ABC, CBS, CNN showed up. I was asked if I know the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? I replied "Snowballs" and am now called a sexist.

9:00 - I was on the News as a suspected terrorist, racist, homophobe sensibility and sexist offender, bent on stirring up trouble during difficult weather.

9:10 - I was asked if I have any accomplices. My children were taken by social services.

9:18 – The ASPCA and PETA took my dog away, because they said he was forced to watch the whole snowman and snowwoman building incident.

9:29 - Far left protesters, offended by everything, marched, burning and looting, down the street demanding for me to be arrested.